Sometimes things don’t go as planned
The plan
Spend late-October through mid-November in FL. Host my mom, brother, 26-year-old son, and daughter-in-law for a week in early November. (Disney, here we come!) Return to WI for the holidays. In early 2024, put our house in Madison back on the market, having pulled the listing recently because we didn't want the holidays disrupted.
The reality
Unexpectedly, receive and accept an offer on our house. Yay! Need to pack, find a place, and move by January 2nd. Yikes! Head to FL as planned. Fly home after a week because my 23-year-old needs surgery. Return to FL, as my mom, brother, son, and DIL are now there with my husband. (Disney, here we come!) After a couple of days in FL, learn that my 23yo’s incision is infected and their recovery isn’t progressing well. Buy a last-minute ticket to fly back to Madison. Test positive for Covid on the day of the flight, destroying any ability to help, and exposing my husband, mom, brother (who has since tested positive), son, and DIL to the virus.
Did I mention that we have a month and a half to find a place to live, pack, and move? And Thanksgiving is next week? And I’m in isolation?
There have been tears, I can assure you.
I bet you have your own version of this, friend. You may have even shared it with me. And that gives me courage. Plus, so much of what’s happening in my life is wonderful, despite these significant hiccups. Most important, my 23yo seems to be improving, my mom is Covid-free so far (knock on wood), and my symptoms aren’t horrendous at this point.
Mercifully, these kinds of experiences have a way of bringing our priorities into laser focus. All the stuff I wanted to get done? Doesn’t matter. Trying to find the “best” flight? Who cares; just book one that works. A beautifully decorated home for the holidays? Not happening. Perfectionism flies out the window in favor of pragmatism. And that’s its own form of relief.
I'm reminded of a passage from Well on Your Way (WOYW):
I’d like to end by flipping the concept of perfection on its head. What if, rather than striving for some imagined ideal, we appealed to ancient traditions that view everything as perfect just as it is, simply because it is? What if we knew that imperfection exists only in our minds, a trick we play on ourselves, a way to create fear of scarcity and “not-enoughness” when neither exists? How would that understanding change things?
(WOYW chapter 5, pp. 44-45)
A few other connected ideas are coming to mind, as well.
First, I'd encourage us to acknowledge that growth is hard and warrants compassion and celebration.
Second, I'm doing my best to remember that we can’t always fix things, and sometimes that’s for the best.
Finally, I bet we could all benefit from more rest. (I'm playing this on infinite loop right now.)
And that’s it!
As always, thanks for being here, and thanks for being you.
Epilogue
After I wrote the message above, my mom tested positive for Covid. Thank goodness, her symptoms are mild, and I pray they remain so. The lesson I’m taking away is this: When something you’ve been intensely focused on avoiding for three and a half years happens, you can finally let go. ❤️
Have a good couple of weeks,
Elizabeth Odders-White