Connecting

Relationships can be complicated.

I almost feel like I could stop there and let you fill in the rest yourself, friend. We all know how tricky it can be to navigate interactions with other humans, and we each have our own stories of both marvelous and painful encounters, sometimes with the same person.

Professional relationships are no exception, as reflected in this and other excerpts from Well on Your Way (WOYW):

During my first couple of years as an assistant professor, I told friends that my colleagues had no idea what to do with me, and I had no idea what to do with them. When I did interact with other faculty members in my department, especially in social settings, I felt… a deep discomfort and sense of otherness that needed constant covering. Even now, it makes me sad to reflect on how removed and set apart I often felt… As I type this, I can feel the heaviness of the inner conflict I experienced, simultaneously craving belonging while rejecting much of what that stood for. 
(WOYW chapter 8, pp. 72-73)

Complicated indeed. 

So maybe we can simplify a few things?

First, let’s talk about networking. Just hearing that word makes some of us break out in a cold sweat. But networking doesn’t have to be scary, and it doesn’t have to feel schmoozy or one-sided. Here are a short video and a recent LinkedIn post that offer other ways of thinking about these professional interactions. I'm also considering offering a free workshop on positive approaches to networking. If you’re interested in participating, please respond to this message to let me know. 

Second, I’m hoping to make our relationship feel as helpful and supportive as possible to you, and to that end, I’m planning to create more subscriber-only content in 2024. As a preview, I’m sharing this co-author checklist. Relationships with collaborators are one of the most significant professional connections we can experience, and when they go well, they boost our productivity and lift our spirits. So we want to make sure these partnerships get off on the right foot. I hope you'll give the checklist a try. It's still a work in progress, so I’m counting on your feedback and suggestions to help me improve it.

Finally, let’s not forget about the most important relationship of all—the one with ourselves. It’s so easy to operate on autopilot, running from one thing to the next with little awareness of—much less attention to—how we’re feeling and what we need. What about taking just a minute to check in from time to time? STOP, which I’ve shared before, can be a great tool.

I’ll stop there (pun intended). Please don’t forget to let me know if you’re up for a networking workshop.

Thanks for being here and thanks for being you. 

Warm November wishes,
 
Elizabeth Odders-White